Everybody
thinks what they think is the right way to think,
because
nobody wants to think the way they think is wrong...
Isn’t that the truth?
Reminds me of a sign I have in my office:
Those of you who know me, know this is NOT the way I think (I just got a kick out of the sign at Hobby Lobby).
Another one of my favorites:
.
Hence, the Rule of Six (which I mentioned in Saving Gracie).
The Rule of Six works like this:
For any and
every perceivable situation think of at least six explanations that may explain
that situation. There are probably sixty, but if you can come up with six, this
will sensitize you to the varieties of perception and may prevent you from
fixating on the first plausible explanation as “the truth.”
Milt Markewitz – Appreciative Sustainability
“Disciplining yourself to think
in this way --- maybe this is happening, but on the other hand, maybe
that is happening --- keeps you from being rigid in your thinking, which in my
tradition is considered to be extraordinarily counterproductive.”
Example:
In a parking lot you observe someone pulling
into a handicapped spot. Upon exiting their car, you notice no notable
disability. What’s the first thing that comes to mind?
1.
Possibly, they’re
lazy and have no business parking in a handicapped spot
Okay, that’s one. Now, see if you can come up
with another. Maybe something like:
2.
They have
a pace-maker and have been having
heart-palpitations that day
3.
They have
juvenile arthritis and have battled excruciating movements every day of their
life
4.
They are
undergoing radiation treatment
5.
Just had the
go-ahead from an orthopedic surgeon to remove the boot they’ve been wearing for
the past 8 weeks
6.
Are in the
recovery process of open-heart surgery
A personal example:
Several years ago I went with Rich back to
his hometown, McHenry, Illinois. We stayed with his mother and one day while
she was out running errands, I decided to clean her refrigerator and freezer.
In my mind, what I was doing was an act of kindness and something I could do to
help my 84 yr. old mother-in-law. Pleased with my endeavor after spending over
an hour on the project, I told her what I had done upon her return.
Was she pleased?
No. In her eyes, she thought I thought she didn’t keep her
refrigerator clean enough and saw me as stepping in and almost insulting her by
tidying up her mess.
Was she wrong?
No.
Was I wrong?
No.
We just had different perceptions of the same situation…
More examples to think about:
·
someone you
know passes by and doesn’t speak
·
teenager
lashes out when mom simply inquires “how was school today?” (example from Saving Gracie)
·
someone
speeding down the highway
So, try this little mental experiment…
The next time you hear someone making a
statement, rather adamantly, like “that’s ridiculous” or “that’s not important,”
try silently adding “in your opinion” to the end of their statement.
I’ve found this exercise softens my
perception of what conclusions my mind might jump to because more often than
not-
Everybody thinks what they think is
the right way to think
Because nobody wants to think the way
they think is wrong
