Intent

Welcome to February’s Insecure Writer’s Support Group, created by Alex Cavenaugh.

Intent. The online dictionary says the following on the subject.

Purpose; design; the state of a person's mind that directs his or her actions toward a specific object; meaning or significance. 

I started writing later in life…mid-fifties. My intent at that time was to hold a book in my hand…my words, my name on the cover. That intent became a reality when Saving Gracie was published in 2012, the year I turned 60.

After my third book, Time Trials, was released the end of November 2015, I realized my intent had changed. From just having a published book, I now wanted to be recognized for my writing. Three quick signing parties at the worst time of the year, the sales died off a bit, and the calm of the New Year rolled in. Two years had passed since the release of Partly Sunny, my second novel, so I had to rethink my strategy as to how to promote Time Trials.

Some head-scratching took place before the ding-ding-ding sounded in my head. Oh yeah, I needed to submit for editorial reviews, enter contests...that sort of thing. After submitting Time Trials to Readers’ Favorite, I became ecstatic at the five (1-2-3-4-5…I counted) stars I received plus the glowing review. What a high…

Then I started googling items like “how to get a review from the New York Times” (answer: forget it) and then Publisher’s Weekly, a significantly high-profile reviewer. They’d even established a special section for self-published authors. That seemed doable. Still on the magic carpet ride high from my 5-star Readers’ Favorite review, I sent off Time Trials.

Before going to sleep Monday night I checked my emails. Big mistake. Huge. This is what I found in the subject line from Publishers’ Weekly/Booklife…

Your project has been declined for review…

Then some nonsense about hoping I wouldn’t be discouraged and please consider submitting any future projects. Really? Declined to even read the book? Not a way to drift off into la-la-land (which in my case is an oxymoron…my sleeping habits have never been la-la-land).

Tuesday morning. New day. Thank goodness. I started to think and remembered my intent of wanting to be recognized for my writing. But I took it a step further. What does that look like? Does it mean I want to see my books showcased in the window of Barnes & Noble? Do I need to reach the best-sellers NYT list? No, but let’s face it…it would be nice. Do I want to make a million dollars? Okay, stop laughing, JK Rowling did...

I’ll be 64 years old this month (seriously, is that right?). I realized my life is full, and I write because I enjoy the process. Developing characters, personality traits, and their own voice is one of my greatest pleasures of writing. I treasure people telling me how much they enjoy my characters. Just this past Monday I received this message: “Wanted you to know I’m having trouble wanting to finish Time Trials because I am not ready to let go of those people’s lives yet.” Another note: “I just love your books!”

 

Now, that makes me smile. That is what my intent looks like. That makes me happy.

I’m sure I’ll re-evaluate my intent in a couple of years.

So….intent. Yours?

   

 

What's In a Star?

I never gave much thought to reviews until I became a published author. I know from TV shows such as “Smash” that on Broadway reviews make or break a performance in an instant. Book reviews are not quite as immediate and poignant, but they do have their own value.

I was raised to believe the following: (or at least I was told to believe this)

It’s one of those quotes or sayings I grew up with but never exactly agreed. As a young child and teenager, I could get my feelings hurt in a blink of an eye. I had yet to learn, nor did I for many years, how to laugh at myself. Once I did, I realized I can be pretty funny. Life got a lot lighter, but to this day hurtful words can cut and hurt as much as a dull knife. I have a story to tell about me and knives…but that’s for another day. And some of you will know what I’m talking about (I believe I can hear some chuckles).

How people rate a book with the 5 star system is, in my opinion, highly subjective. For example, I can watch a movie and not really be able to give it “a thumbs up” which might result in a 2-star rating. Why? Was it my mood? Did I have to pay bills that day? (always a bummer). Or did I have a bad dream the night before that seemed so real and disturbing it stayed with me throughout the day? My point is, I can watch that same movie at a later date and have a completely different opinion (and star rating). 

I’ve been fortunate to have some truly heart-warming, moving 5 star reviews on Amazon for Saving Gracie. In fact, at this time I have 44 reviews with an average rating of 4.4 out of 5 stars which brings a smile to my face. I’ve heard more than once a writer needs a thick skin (picture turtle wax). This I do not have. I read my one 1 star review and pouted for days. Although thrilled by the many 5 star reviews…guess which one affected me the most? 

Guess that’s my nature, but I’m not satisfied with that particular quirk of mine, so I’m working on it. My shell isn’t as paper-thin as it used to be, but I’m still applying coats of turtle wax on a regular basis. I also don’t read reviews. Not anymore. That’s Rich’s job and he’ll let me know when a good one comes along and knows by now not to mention the bad ones. 

I believe no one sets out to write a bad book. Too much labor of love has to be put into a story and I’ve decided that just because a book or a movie isn’t to my liking doesn’t mean it’s bad. I’ve heard people say, “That book/movie is horrible. Don’t waste your time.” Once again, subjective. I know of several instances I would have given a particular movie or book an easy 5 star-rating while someone else might respond with, “Well, it’s cute.” Cute, in my opinion, means okay and maybe a 3 star-rating (which is still better than 1). I had one reviewer give me a 4-star review, really liked Saving Gracie, but deducted a point for typos. Totally out of my control but still reflects how she hands out stars.

At this point in my life, I think before I write a review.

Words are powerful...and hurtful.